My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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