this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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