no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
