My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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