So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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