loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
