Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
