she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
