I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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