Define "chronic" masturbator.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
