Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
