Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
