My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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