Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
