I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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