I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
