stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
