He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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