You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize