i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
