You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
