i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
