How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
