The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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