Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
