Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
