I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
