I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found a bag of teeth...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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