i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
