I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
