is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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