i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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