WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
