Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
