Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
