I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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