dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
