This is not my ceiling
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize