WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
