You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hippo gnu deer
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
