Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
