can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
