my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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