i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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