she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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