Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize