Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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