Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
