I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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