So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
