We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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