Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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