Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
