So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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