I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
