Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
