After last night, I could never be a politician.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
