Dual....:-)
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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