Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You are the jesus of drinking
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
