I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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