quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
