This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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