fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My feet surprised me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
