Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
