Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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